The Great Bedroom Hoax

The Great Bedroom Hoax


By Ruth Lampert
Copyright July 2010


Growing up during the depression years in Chicago, it was not unusual for one or two family members to have as their sleeping place a “roll-away” bed - when not in use for sleeping it folded in half and was covered with a shawl - or a couch , in the living or dining room.

When I was about eight years old my family of 5 moved into a nice 2 bedroom apartment. (how we got to that residence after originating in Chicago, then moving to Los Angeles, then to Long Beach, then back to Chicago and a couple of temporary dwellings, is quite another story.)

My parents slept in the big bedroom, and my sister Francine, as a teenager and the oldest child, had the privilege of being granted her own room. Who made the following decision I am not sure, but Bob (then about 12) and I (about 8) were told that he would sleep in the dining room on a “roll-away” and I would have the living room couch. (Where, you wonder did we keep our clothes and stuff? I wonder too – no doubt some in one closet, some in another, some in the dining room buffet drawers -- maybe some in a box under someone’s bed? I’ll have to research that.)
“Boy, do I feel sorry for you” Bob announced, after checking out the living and dining rooms.

“Why?” I asked, ready as always to believe anything he told me.
“Because,” he replied in his best solicitous big brother voice, “the living room is really a terrible place to sleep. The dining room, now, that’s the place anyone would want. Am I lucky they are letting me sleep there. Right next to the kitchen…a terrific lamp for reading…and a big table to sit at if you can’t sleep. Boy, am I lucky!”

And so on and so on, until I found myself pleading with him to change and let me have the dining room. I don’t know what I promised him in return, I’m sure I put on my most pathetic little girl voice, and sorrowful mistreated face, but after much pleading on my part and much protesting of “no way, you think I’m nuts?” on his part, he gave in.

“O.K., o.k., stop crying, you can have the dining room, I’ll be all right in the living room….I’m older, and a boy, so I guess I have to make some sacrifices……”

I thanked him and thanked him, promised I would do something wonderful for him some day. As I took my blanket and pillow into the dining room and he took his in to the living room, he called to me gleefully,
“Thanks a lot, I wanted the living room all along, it is super, wow, look at that big window, and it’s so cool and quiet, away from the kitchen,….” the list of advantages went on and on.

I had been had, in true little sister tradition. I have to add that in all important ways, and up to this very moment, Bob has been a generous and loving brother. We’re both elderly now, but I swear, I’ll get back at him for that yet.
Or maybe not. Actually the dining room was fine, and I did enjoy lining my dolls up on the big table at night and pretending that the chandelier was a magic lamp.

So I guess, now that we are both older and hopefully wiser, I can honestly say,
“Bob, I forgive you.”