Evals

Copyright by Ruth Lampert February 2009

Report cards have a long and sometimes dismaying tradition, but back in the day it was students who received the evaluations from the teachers, and not vice versa. Of course teachers were always judged by students, with grades ranging from “fantastic” to “stinko,” but these were informal, word-of-mouth judgments. Everyone always knew who to seek out and who to avoid if at all possible. But it came as something of a shock about 15 years ago when I became an adjunct college instructor and was formally “evaluated” by my students, with the reports going directly to the dean. .


“Born too late!” I thought, not for the first or last time. It was weird beyond weird to realize that just as some students “sucked up” to teachers in the hope of getting a good grade, the reverse -- or corollary -- situation now existed for the teachers, ushering in a new and wicked temptation. When did this start? Of course it could not be objectively demonstrated that giving easy exams and being generous with high marks resulted in favorable evaluations from the students – but of course the thought had to pass the mind of at least one somewhat insecure instructor. (Not me, of course.)


The Great Evaluation Movement persists and increases unto this very day. Whether I order books online or avail myself of the grocery store’s delivery service, I am inevitably “invited” (or sometimes “chosen” – occasionally bribed) to “evaluate” the service. On the face of it this seems like a good thing, but really, it is getting out of hand.
How long will it be before it happens that at the conclusion of a dinner party given by friends for friends we will be handed a form to fill out with questions such as?


“How would you rate the food?” (on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being
“To die for” and 1 being “I almost died of it.”)
“Was dinner served within a reasonable time after your arrival?”
“Were the other guests friendly?”
“Was the conversation stimulating
“Were the guest towels arranged creatively?
Etc etc etc


And weddings would be rated on the basis of such criteria as:
“Did the bride and groom seem truly happy, or was their pleasure
Forced and insincere?
“Was the wedding cake (check one)
1) Appropriately large and sweet
(2) Tilted
(3) Yucky


And funerals:
“Were the eulogies
1) inspiring
2) Too long
3) ‘Oh get off it’


“Did the mourners seem genuinely sad, or
was it obvious they really wanted to be
at home watching T.V.?”



For medical and dental appointments:
“Was the amount of time you had to wait in
the waiting room longer than (check
one
1) The time it takes you get home from
work during rush hour on the 405?
2) The time you stood in line at the airport
on your last trip
3) The time ou were put “on hold” when you
called to make the appointment in
the first place


“Were the magazines older than God?
1) A little
2) A lot
3) I don’t know, I am an atheist



Psychotherapy treatment offers an obvious opportunity for written evaluations after each session. E.G.:
Was this session? Productive? (Whatever that means to you.)
Do you feel angry at having to pay so much for so little?
Do you feel grateful for the therapist spending his/her valuable time with you?


And at the end of a first date, instead of the obligatory “I really had fun” the date-ees would each take a few moments to check off:
How, on a scale of 1 to 10, did this compare to other first dates?
If you were introduced by a friend, are you grateful or are you silently fuming “what was he/she thinking of?”
Would you recommend your date to your friends? Your enemies?


I know what you are thinking at this point, but relax. No need to evaluate this posting. After all, I can’t evaluate you as a reader; why should you have all the fun?