Geezer Power:
A New Spin on Senior Scams
Copyright by Ruth Lampert, September 2008

Don’t just whine about it - beat them at their own game. As a chronologically gifted person, (my grandson’s creative term for “elderly”) you are in a position to: make scamming an equal opportunity activity. Scam the scammers! Turn a lemon into lemonade!

Here are some tips for effective telephone pitches to help you get started:
“Hello young fellow, (or ‘young lady,’ or if in doubt, ‘my friend’)”how are you today? Did you know there are thousands of elderly folks out there who have no one to leave their money to?” (this point gets a pitiful quaver in your voice, suggesting you may be one of them.) “All you need do is sign up for my seminar on ‘Beyond Roofing Rip-Offs With Retired Rubes...’ Yessir, this fantastic event will be advertised on national TV’. tomorrow for $999.99 – registration is yours at a special one-time only price of for only $18.75 just be using your credit card. Act NOW: I can take that information immediately on this here phone!”

Or try this one:
“Send $50.00 in cash (envelope must be marked by midnight tonight) for a full audio-cassette or compact disk recourse of instruction on ‘New Scams With Old Folks.’ This gem is by a A WELL KNOWN promoter, the very same con artist you have seen on late night television explaining “How I Made a Fortune With Nothing Down in the Scam Market.”

Hey there old timer, you weren’t born yesterday – far from it.
You’ve seen what Geezer Power can do politically. Let it work for you financially! You know you’ve been ripped off a time or two in your long life – here is the chance you have been waiting for to scam the scammers! How do you know who the scammers are? I will provide you with this and other vital information – information available no where else – just as soon as you tell me your credit card number, expiration date, and those three numbers on the back “

Win-win propositions aren’t the sole property of the younger generation you know. If you are wondering how to get the telephone numbers of MILLIONS of these so-called baby boomers, well, you know how to reach me.

And phone calls are only the beginning. There is also e-mail, text messaging and who knows what other new-fangled technologies are on the horizon? But don’t wait. The old-fashioned way was good enough to get you to invest in Nigeria, and it’s good enough to work in the USA.
Operators are waiting to take your information. You won’t regret it, I promise you. Would I lie?

Have a great evening!