The Four Letter “C” Word


Ruth Lampert Copyright May 2009


If you are thinking what I think you might be thinking, shame on you. This is a family blog. The word I am thinking is “cute.” As it is all too often applied to older people as in “Look at that couple over there on the bench, holding hands.
. Aren’t they cute?”

If the subjects of this comment were two little children holding hands, it would be appropriate. When the reference is to aged people being together, showing affection for one another, it is – well, not so cute.

My attitude might justifiably be ascribed to the fact that I myself am, as my grandson charmingly puts it, “chronologically gifted.” In case you wonder why occasionally I am snarly, argumentative, bossy, nasty, querulous, or all of the above, it is because I know that these attributes will not lead to my being described as “cute.” “Cute” goes with “sweet.” I prefer “tart.”

Other adjectives that go nicely with advanced age are “regal;” “dignified;” “inspiring;” “stately”.
“Humble?” Not so much.

Nothing brings out the cute card faster than weddings of older people. Wedding ceremonies that is. A quiet, inconspicuous marriage at city hall or in a clergyperson’s office can escape the appellation, but let there be traditional trappings such as long gowns, a flower girl, a fancy wedding cake, and I can hear it now:
“Oh, isn’t that adorable!”
Toddlers toddling down a make believe aisle, dressed up in grown-ups cast-off clothing, make a poor second in sickening sweetness.

Funerals, on the other hand, by their very nature escape the label. A cute corpse is, if not exactly an oxymoron, a rarity.
Many clichés apply, the favorite being “he/she she lived a full life” but while that aged body in the coffin may be many things, it is not “”adorable.”
If it’s all the same to everybody, I would prefer not to have to wait until my demise to be spared the “cute” word. So to all you medical personnel who say things like “just climb up here sweetie,” and salespeople who coo “Oh, you look just precious in that” and restaurant servers who advise “That is really easy to digest, honey” and so forth and so on, I recommend use of a c-word I particularly favor, as in:

Cut the Crap.